


Scotch, Coffee, And Sappy Fifties Love Songs

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-02-05
Updated: 2002-02-05
Packaged: 2019-05-15 20:19:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14797319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Josh has a few too many and pays Donna a late-night visit.





	Scotch, Coffee, And Sappy Fifties Love Songs

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

Scotch, Coffee, and Sappy Fifties Love Songs 

by Grasshopper Girl 

Rated PG 

Summary: Josh has a few too many and pays Donna a late-night visit.

This is for Cat, my partner in crime... it's entirely her fault I stay up too late writing this stuff :P

 

Josh Lyman stared into his almost-empty glass, absently swirling the amber liquid around. "What the hell's wrong with me? I go out on the first date I've been on in months, with a perfectly lovely young woman, and all I can think about is, she's not HER."

"Come again?" the bartender asked.

"She's not HER. She's not Donna."

"Donna?"

"My assistant." Josh drained his glass, set it on the bar, tapped the rim. [My beautiful, amazing assistant.]

"Uh-uh, buddy, you're cut off."

"Since when?" He took a wad of bills out of his pocket and waved them around.

"Since you nearly fell off your stool there a minute ago."

"Well that just SUCKS," Josh slurred, tossing a couple of bills onto the bar and lurching towards the door.

Outside, he managed to summon enough energy to hail a cab. "Alexandria. Fifteen Hegal Place," he told the driver, untying his already loose necktie and unbuttoning the top two buttons of his shirt. He didn't even stop to wonder why he had given that address instead of his own.

He nearly fell flat on his face as he exited the cab at his destination. Managing to hand the cabbie some money, he dragged himself towards the steps, squinting up at the second floor window of the modest brownstone walk-up. The light was on, even though it was... he looked at his watch... 1:30 in the morning. Rummaging around on the ground, he picked up a few pebbles and hurled them in the general direction of the window.

One or two bounced off the glass, and almost immediately a pair of eyes peeked out through the blinds. Then the blinds and the window were raised, and Donnatella Moss leaned out.

"Josh, it's two in the morning, what the hell are you doing?" [Work's going to be hell tomorrow.]

[God, she's beautiful] "What are you doing up, don't you have to work tomorrow?"

"If you expected me to be asleep, why are you standing outside my window at two a.m.?"

"Wanted to talk to you." He pouted.

[He's cute when he does that. And he's all rumpled, too.] "You're drunk, aren't you. You're going to wake the neighborhood."

Josh looked around, really noticing his surroundings for the first time. [Bad place. Donna shouldn't live in a bad place. Donna should live in a nice place. With me.] Then he looked back up at Donna. Standing there in the pool of light under the street lamp, his tie and collar loosened, his suit and his hair in disarray, he was quite a pathetic sight. "You live in a dump, Donna."

"Thank you."

"It's a hole. You shouldn't live here."

"Where should I live, then?" she asked wearily.

"Somewhere nice. Nice big apartment in Georgetown."

"I can't afford Georgetown," she said, wondering why she was hanging out her window talking to her drunk boss in the middle of the night.

"You can come live with me," he offered, smiling at the idea. "I wouldn't mind. I have a big bed."

"Josh, you still haven't told me what the hell you're doing here," she said, choosing to ignore that last remark. [He's my boss. My BOSS.] "Didn't you have a date?"

"Date?" He looked momentarily puzzled. "Oh, yeah. Date. Yeah I had a date."

"Did she dump you?" [If she hurt him, I'll rip her hair out.]

"N...o, she didn't dump me, I dumped her."

"What'd she do? She wasn't a call girl like Sam's... whatever her name was, was she?"

"Not a call girl. Just not MY girl." He lurched towards the building, singing drunkenly and way off key. "I had a girl, Donna was her name, since she left me, I've never been the same... cause I love my girl , Donna oh where can you beeeeeee... wheeeere can you be... Now that you're gone, I'm left all alone, all by myself, to wander and roam, cause I love my gi..."

"Josh, shut up, you'll wake the neighbors," she said, slightly unnerved by his choice of songs. [That's so sweet... he's drunk... he's my boss... but that's so sweet. Dammit Josh, why do you do this to me?]

Her roommate, Casey, came to the door. "What's all that racket?"

"Nothing, Casey, just my stupid boss."

"What's he doing out there at this hour?"

"Singing, apparently."

Casey smiled sleepily. "Oh, how sweet!"

"Casey, go to bed." Donna grabbed the nearby phone and dialed, looking out the window again to see what Josh was doing. "Hello, Sam, it's Donna. Yeah, I'm sorry to wake you, but Josh is standing outside my bedroom window. Drunk. Off his ass. Singing. Okay, thank you."

She hung up and returned to the window. "Josh, I called Sam. He's going to come pick you up. Do you want to come in and wait?"

He squinted woozily and reached for the ivy that grew up the side of the building. "Be right there."

"Josh, what are you..." [Who the hell does he think he is, Robin Hood?]

"One moment, my fair Donnatella!" he declared, attempting to grab onto the threadlike vines and climb up the wall. Of course, they snapped in his grasp and he fell to earth with a loud THUD.

"Josh, are you okay?" Donna gasped, holding back laughter.

He stood, ruefully rubbing his backside and dusting debris from the flowerbed off his suit. "Yeah... can't say the same for the suit."

"That's your Joey Lucas suit, isn't it?" she asked, her tone a bit icy. Every time he wore that suit it reminded her of the political consultant he'd drooled over for months.

"Yes, Donna, this is my Tuesday Suit. But I'm not wearing this suit anymore. I'll burn it!" he announced, taking his jacket off, throwing it down on the ground, and stomping on it. "No more Tuesday suits. No more dates. No more Joey Lucases or Sarah Wissin... Wissississn... whatevers. I'm done. DONE, I say!"

"Whatever you say, Josh." [He's getting rid of the Joey Lucas Suit. Not going to let it get to me... not going to let it get to me...]

"I'm a one woman man."

"Yes, Josh."

"Donnatella Moss is my woman."

"Yes, J... WHAT?!" Donna nearly fell out the window.

"Earth angel, earth angel, please be mine," he crooned, falling to his knees and clasping his hands dramatically, "my darling dear, love you for all time, I'm just a fool... a fool... in love... with... youuuuuuuuuuu...." [I quite possibly look like an idiot doing this.]

[Aw screw it. It's Donna. She will be unable to resist my charms.]

Donna grabbed the windowsill in an attempt to remain standing. [It got to me.]

"All right mister, move it along," Sam said from behind him, grabbing Josh by the arm and pulling him to his feet with one hand, picking up his coat with another. Donna watched from the window, lost in thought. [Why can't he ever be silly and romantic when he's sober?]

[Wait, what the hell am I saying? This is Josh. My boss.]

[But he's so cute.]

[And he's my boss.]

[He's sweet. He serenaded me.]

[Off key. And he's my boss.]

[He COULD sing if he hadn't had a few too many.]

[He is the Deputy Chief of Staff for the President of the United States and I am his assistant.]

"Sam? Wha..."

"Donna called me. You're going home."

"Saaaaam!"

"Josh, go with Sam. He'll get you all cleaned up and tucked in. Maybe he'll hold your head while you vomit."

"Goodnight, Donnatella." He summoned enough strength and coordination to blow her a kiss. She resisted the urge to reach out and catch it. [That would be incredibly tacky.]

[Plus, you know, he's my boss.]

[Yes.]

[So sweet.]

[He'll forget it by morning.]

Donna shut the window and went inside.

\--------------------------------------

In the car, Sam tried to make Josh sit up straight while keeping his eyes on the road.

"Don't wanna sit up."

"Josh."

"Wanna lie down. Go to sleep."

"Josh, we'll be home in a minute. What the hell were you doing, anyway? You're lucky nobody from the press saw you. 'Drunk Deputy Chief of Staff harasses assistant outside her home'... I can see the headlines now."

"You sound like CJ."

"CJ, in this case, would be perfectly justified in kicking your ass into next week. What were you DOING?"

"Was talking to Donnatella." Josh slouched against the car door.

"In the middle of the night, outside her window. In some states that would be considered stalking."

"Some women, I will have you know, find midnight serenades romantic."

"Josh, you can't carry a tune in a bucket!"

"Can so."

"I thought you had a date tonight, with that... that girl, what's her name."

"Did."

"What happened?"

"Dumped."

"You or her?"

"Me."

"She dumped you."

"No. I... dumped... her," Josh said, gesturing with his thumb.

"Why?"

Josh sighed and leaned back in the seat. "She's not Donna."

"Donna is your assistant."

"She's amazing."

"She WORKS for you. In the WHITE HOUSE? You know, that big building with all the columns and the big round room where the president of this country works?"

"She's so pretty, Sam," he said earnestly. "You know what she looks like?"

"Ummm..."

"She looks like an angel, that's what she looks like. From one of those old paintings."

"Josh, you are extremely drunk. Scotch, is my best guess. How many did you have?"

"Ummm... lost count."

"Okay, here we are," Sam said, pulling up in front of Josh's building. "Let's get you inside. Leo's not going to be happy with you in the morning."

"I don't think Donna's gonna be too thrilled with me, either," Josh said, slouching against Sam as they both stumbled up the steps. Sam had a firm grip around his waist so he didn't fall down and scrape his face on the pavement.

Once inside his apartment, Josh decided to lie down. On the floor. "Oh, no, you don't. First you have to get out of those filthy clothes, and take a shower, and go to bed."

"What are you, my mother?" Josh's voice rose to a comedic pitch.

"Just get in there and get a shower," Sam said, shoving him through the bedroom to the bathroom door. Josh made a quick detour and attempted to lie on the bed, but ended up kneeling beside it with his head buried in the comforter. "Get up." Sam jerked him to his feet and shoved him into the bathroom, shutting the door. "I'll go make some coffee." Silence. "Josh?" More silence, not even a rustle or shuffle. Sam opened the door a crack and saw Josh, still fully clothed, curled up on the mat in the fetal position. "Josh!" He shook his friend and helped him to his feet. Turning the shower on, he removed Josh's tie and unfastened the last three buttons on his now very dirty white dress shirt.

"I love you like a brother, Sam, but I'd much rather have Donna undress me if it's all the same to you."

"Donna's not here," Sam said, making Josh sit down so he could remove his shoes.

"Why not?"

"She's at home, no doubt trying to go to sleep after being rudely awakened by your drunken attempts at being romantic and getting yourself fired."

"Fired?" Josh pondered this concept. "Why fired? CJ didn't see me. Leo didn't see me. Toby didn't see me. And if the President saw me I'd like to know what he was doing on Hegal Place at midnight." He squinted at Sam. "The only people who saw me were you and Donna. You won't tell on me, will you, buddy? Old buddy, old pal of mine?"

"Get a shower. I'll make some coffee and I'll think about it. You owe ME bigtime, buddy."

"Wha' for?" Josh muttered, dragging himself into the bedroom to get some clean clothes.

"Coming and picking you up in the middle of the night."

"You owe Donna. I'd have been perfectly happy to stay there allllll night."

"And get picked up for vagrancy, public drunkenness, and disturbing the peace," Sam said, again guiding Josh back into the bathroom. "Shower. Now."

Josh stood there, clothes in his arms, pouting at Sam as he shut the door.

As Josh stood in the shower, the water pounding down on him, he tried to form a coherent thought. The only words or images that came to mind were of Donna... leaning out the window to talk to him, like Romeo and Juliet... bringing him coffee on the day he thought he was going to be fired... fussing over him during his long recovery... making smart remarks as they hurried through the corridors of power on their day-to-day errands. He didn't know how he had ever lived without their back-and-forth bantering, without the presence of this sweet, funny, frustrating, beautiful, amazing woman.

As he turned the shower off and reached for a towel, he made a resolution. Tomorrow, IF he could still remember more than his name and where he worked, he would talk to her. He couldn't have her thinking he only said the things he said when he wasn't in his right mind. He had to tell her, sober.

IF he remembered anything in the morning.

By the time Sam returned with coffee, Josh was already curled up under the covers. He set the coffee, a glass of water, and a bottle of non- childproof aspirin on the nightstand and turned the lights off. "I'll try not to let Leo kill you in the morning."

"Nnnnnghhhh."

"I'll take that as a thank you."

\---------------------------------

Donna was already at work the next morning when Josh staggered in. His eyes were barely open, his shoulders were stooped, and his tie looked even worse with his suit than his ties usually did. "Morning Donna," he muttered as he passed her desk. "Bring me my schedule please."

[He doesn't remember anything,] she thought disappointedly. [Just business as usual.] Collecting Josh's appointment book and messages, she joined him in his office.

He was slouched in his chair, trying to read the file he'd left on the desk the day before. "Donna, close the door please."

"Is something wrong?" Vague thoughts of what she'd like to do with Josh behind closed doors flitted through Donna's mind as she shut the door. [Stop that. He's your boss.]

[He told me he loved me last night.]

[He was very drunk last night.]

Josh opened his eyes all the way, despite the horrific headache the light gave him, to look at her. She was fresh-faced and neatly dressed as always, looking at him with wide blue eyes filled with concern. "I'm sorry I woke you up last night, Donna." [Why does she put up with me? No wonder she looks at me like I'm nuts all the time, I keep doing stupid things.]

She shrugged. "It's forgotten, Josh. You were having a bad night, and I wasn't asleep yet anyway." [He's so cute when he's sleepy. Imagine waking up next to THAT every morning.]

[He's my boss. BOSS.]

Clearing her throat and assuming an air of cool professionalism, she flipped through the appointment book. "Staff in fifteen minutes, meeting with Clark at eleven, lunch is open, staff again at two- fifteen." She moved on to his phone messages. "Clark, Stackhouse, Harper, Kline."

"Okay, I'll call them back after staff." Josh rubbed his forehead. "You got any aspirin? I know it's too much to ask for you to bring me some coffee..."

She smiled. "Just a minute."

[I don't care if she never brings me coffee... just looking at her is enough to wake me up.]

Donna returned with a bottle of aspirin, a glass of water, and...

[It couldn't be...]

Josh grinned, ignoring the throbbing at his temples. "You brought me coffee?"

She set the mug and the glass on the desk and opened the bottle of aspirin, shaking two tablets into her hand. Josh just sat there, looking up at her and grinning. [I wish he wouldn't do that... it's unnerving.] "Take your aspirin and then go to your meeting... you don't want to keep Leo waiting."

He took the aspirin from her and swallowed them with a big gulp of water. Reaching for the coffee, he said, "What would I do without you, Donna?"

"I don't know... I shudder to think." Overcome by a momentary impulse, Donna placed one hand on Josh's cheek. [What would I do without you?]

He closed his eyes and rubbed his cheek against her palm, savoring her touch for a little longer than might be prudent. [Donnatella... I love you...]

The stubble on Josh's cheek rasped against Donna's skin, and a sudden rush of electricity ran through her. Hastily she removed her hand and deposited the phone messages and schedule on the desk. "You're going to be late for staff," she said, hurrying out of the room.

Josh sat there for a moment, eyes still closed, replaying the events of the previous night. His memory was surprisingly sharp... he remembered everything, including the promise he'd made himself to tell Donna how he felt. [I can't do that, though... she's my assistant, I'm her boss, we work in the White House. I must've been insane last night. And now she thinks I'm insane too. What the hell was I thinking? SINGING to her outside her WINDOW?]

There was a knock on the door and Sam peeked in. "We're late for staff, Josh."

"Coming."

"So did Donna yell at you for making a racket outside her window last night?" Sam asked on their way down the hall.

"No, actually. She brought me coffee."

"Coffee. Well."

\------------------------------------

After his morning meetings, Josh returned to his office hoping to catch a quick nap, but was greeted by the sight of Donna perched on his desk, talking on the phone. She was wearing a knee-length skirt and the very high heels she wore so she could look him straight in the eye, and her legs were crossed. He stood in the doorway, reminding himself to breathe. [Donna... legs... oh my God...]

[She's my assistant...]

[Shut up, Josh.]

He had just managed to regain his composure when she hung up and turned to see him standing there. "That was Senator Hanahan's office... she wants to see you this afternoon." [Why does he look like he just got smacked in the stomach with a two-by-four?]

"Wonderful." He rolled his eyes, tossing a stack of files on the desk and sitting down. "What else have you got for me?"

"Josh, why did you come to see me last night?"

[Uh-oh.] "I was drunk, Donna. I could barely remember my own name, let alone my address."

"You sang fifties love songs to me outside my window."

[Is she accusing me or is that a smile of pleasure I see in her eyes?]

"Donna, I didn't mean anything by that... like I said, I was drunk, and..."

[He's lying. I can see it in his eyes, he's lying like a cheap rug.]

"I'm sure all my neighbors thought you meant it, the little old lady across the hall gave me this funny look when I left for work this morning," she said, laughing.

Josh forced a laugh, opening a file and pretending to read. "Yeah, I'm sure they did."

Suddenly, Donna was serious. "Did you?"

[I didn't just ask that.]

Josh didn't look up from his file. "Did I what?"

She leaned over the desk and stared at him until he looked at her. "Did you mean what you said last night?"

[This isn't happening.] Josh pretended to scan his memory. "What part of it? The part about me drinking an unusual amount of alcohol? Because yeah, I'm pretty sure I did."

[I have to find out.]

[He's my boss.]

[I don't care. I'll quit. I'll swap jobs with Ginger. Or something.]

[You are a fool, Donnatella Moss.]

[A fool in love with Josh.]

[Oh God. Next thing you know I'LL be singing sappy fifties love songs.]

She reached over and placed her hand on his. "I mean, what you said about you and me."

Josh avoided her eyes. "Donna, I don't think we should be talking..."

"Josh, you showed up under my window at two a.m., and sang to me, and told me you love me. I think we do need to talk about this. For God's sake, you tried to climb up the ivy to my window. Talk to me. Now. Sober."

He massaged his temples. [This cannot be happening to me. I'm never drinking again. Ever.]

"Donna," he said, looking up at her, "what I said last night... can't we please just forget it and leave things the way they were?" [There you go, you idiot, you just admitted you remember what you said. Always deny everything. Boy are you stupid.]

"What would that solve?"

"We work at the White House... we can't have this thing..."

"Josh, we've had a 'thing' for two and a half years. Now that this new thing is out there, how are we going to be able to work together? I can't work in the same office with you for the next two years wondering what might have been if you'd just talk to me instead of telling me to forget about it. I can't forget about it, and I won't."

"Donna, do you realize how complicated..." [I don't care how complicated it is.]

"I don't care, Josh. You sang sappy fifties love songs to me outside my bedroom window. Granted, you were drunk, but alcohol lowers inhibitions, it doesn't bring out anything that wasn't already there."

[Interpreting drunken behavior with celebrated psychiatrist Donnatella Freud.]

"And what do you think is there?"

She came around to his side of the desk, knelt beside him, took his hands in hers. "I think you love me, but you're scared to admit it because you might screw it up and lose me. But you're not going to screw it up and you're not going to lose me. We mean too much to each other for that. I won't lose this chance with you just because you're stubborn, Joshua Lyman."

"Donna... Donnatella Moss..." [Why is it she always says exactly what I need to hear?]

He reached out to touch her face. [Beautiful.]

"Can we really make this work?" [Say yes, say yes, please say yes.]

"Yes," she said, turning her head just enough to plant a soft kiss on the palm of his hand.

"Pretty sure of yourself there, aren't you, Donnatella?"

"This coming from Mr. Ego the Size of Eastern Europe?" She grinned.

They sat there in silence for a few moments. "So," Josh finally said. "What's next?"

Donna stood. "Staff at two-fifteen."

Josh checked his watch. "It's one-thirty."

"It's two."

"My watch sucks?"

"In four different time zones."

He stood. "Remind me why I put up with you."

"Because you'd be completely and totally lost without me."

He grinned, pulling her into his arms for a kiss. "That I would."

END

 

  


End file.
